Trifecta

As I was stalking my blog roll this morning, I came across this most incredibly inspiring picture on fellow Crossfitter Lory's blog, Lory's Adventures and stole it to post here, hope she doesn't mind :-) 

I am in awe of the beauty of these women.  Their strong, healthy bodies, the strong will, determination and confidence they exude.  They are the total package!  Mind, body and spirit, the trifecta in perfect harmony, that's what I want!

For many, many years I chased what society told me was the standard of beauty.  I abused my body by undereating and over exercising and was full of self-loathing.  I'm saddened when I think of that young woman who spent so much time, energy and effort on trying to mold her body into something it was not designed by nature to be.  Hating my hips, thighs and mostly my strong arms and shoulders, always wishing they were willowy, delicate and thin.  Wasting my body down to nothing and still looking in the mirror in disgust at those arms.  Thinking that if only I was petite and my arms were smaller that my life would be perfect.  I would find the perfect man, the perfect job, I would have the confidence to be the woman I was supposed to be if I could just fix this body of mine.  My heartbreaks for that young woman.

I will never have the body of a super model or have the willowy, delicate arms of a ballerina and I've been coming to peace with that over the past few years.  I realize now that at my thinnest, my body did not help me attract the right man, the right job, the confidence I needed to have the life I thought I should.  The self-loathing that seethed underneath the surface and the obsession with the external undermined it all.  I was unbalanced, disconnected from the mind and spirit.

Surprising to even me, my Crossfit practice is teaching me balance.  I went into it with a mindset of getting my body healthy enough to carry me through my middle age into old age, focusing only on the physical once again.  Today I realize Crossfit has more to offer than is obvious to an outsider.  It's definitely about having a strong, healthy body but in no way excludes the mind and the spirit.  I am learning things about myself that are amazing and scary.  I am loving my body more and embracing all parts of myself good, bad and ugly.  It brings to the surface things that even my yoga practice never has and is teaching me that without the trifecta of strong body, mind and spirit I will never manifest the life I have been waiting my whole life to just happen. 

Tomorrow is my Spartan 300 Challenge benchmark workout.  I signed up for the latest slot available, 8:15-9:15 a.m. in hopes of being good and rested.  The reality of this workout is starting to set in and I'm beginning to get a little nervous.  I keep telling myself that this is just a workout, not life or death.  I will do my best and remember the words from this:

Stay tuned for the results! :-)

Fuel Log 5-6-10

Breakfast 8:00 a.m.
3 egg whites
1/2 c chopped green peppers, onions and mushrooms
1 tsp coconut oil
1 small mandarine orange

Snack 10:30 a.m.
1/2 Coconut Larabar

Lunch 12:00 p.m.
Field greens with cabbage, beets, and carrots
2 scallop sauteed in olive oil
1 c spaghetti squash
1/2 c meat sauce

Snack 3:00 p.m.
1/3 Apple Pie Larabar
6 thin slices of salami

Dinner 8:30 p.m.
Ceviche - shrimp, tomato, avocado, lettuce, tomato
1/4 c Coconut Bliss Dark Chocolate